We the plants, animals, people, sentient rocks, microscopic particles, and visitors from other galaxies, in order to form a rag-tag flock of zany individuals, establish silliness and mayhem, insure a general sense of euphoria, provide snacks, promote rampant creativity, and secure super special secret standard spiffy decoder rings to ourselves, DO pompously ordain, decree, dictate, pronounce, enact, establish AND predestine this manifesto of the North Pole!


We the plants, animals, people, sentient rocks, microscopic particles, and visitors from other galaxies, of the North Pole hold these truths to be self-evident:

>That every citizen shall be a Head Of State.

>That all ways are North.

>That each citizen shall have the power and freedom to found the North Pole wherever and whenever they deem appropriate.

>That this mobile nation shall be a place in which creative expressions of all kinds shall live long and prosper.

>That snacks shall be readily available at all times.

>That silliness shall be rewarded with snacks,

>And that the wearing of unmatched socks shall be hereafter and forevermore glorified and deemed an occasion for mighty prodigious revelry and pageantry.

>Furthermore, that the playing of croquet shall henceforth be conducted only upon sand playing fields such that landscaping becomes an essential strategic element of the game.

>That all Heads of State, upon induction, shall immediately retire from any and all unintellectually stimulating activities (such as day jobs), as their complete capacities shall be required in the fulfillment of their Official North Pole civic duties (such as snacking and croquet).

>That all citizens shall carry upon their persons at all times, a kazoo.

>That citizenship is also a state of mind and each Head of State may rescind or reinstate their own allegiance at will.

>That the phrase "shall impart" shall be used often and with great pomposity and verve.

>That sprinklers and fountains were invented for the express purpose of getting wet,

>That all Heads of State, upon the sighting of a sprinkler or fountain, shall immediately engage themselves in the activity of getting their royal personage wet(unless it's cold out),

>And that ALL pine cones SHOULD have handles because that's cool.

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